Never had Proverbs 16:9 become so evident in my life like it did in 2020. At the beginning of the year, I had made lists, goals, agendas and appropriated a specific timeline to accomplish my vast list of future accomplishments. How God must have chuckled as I vigorously wrote MY PLANS/GOALS and probably more tickled when I confidently (so sure of myself) scribbled MY SPECIFIC TIMELINE.
Well, I don’t have to tell you how 2020 turned out.
Everything came to a halt.
…..well not exactly everything.
What actually came to a halt was my plans. The things that I wanted to do; the goals I wanted to accomplish; the timeline I had planned out. Notice how in all of this everything was ABOUT ME.
2020 would be that year God would shatter the “me” that was left in “me.” As God would reveal to me how far I’ve strayed from relying on His direction not only in my plans, but in my life as a whole. A global pandemic, a year of solitude and seclusion would turn out to be a year of growth, realization, and God emptying me of me, yet again.
It was totally uncomfortable, but absolutely necessary….
…. and I am so thankful He did.
A man's heart plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps. -Proverbs 16:9
Dear Woman of God,
Make your plans but also be willing to say not my will, but Your will.
Let me be clear, God is not against us making plans. In fact, He would expect us to be prudent and wise in planning out our future. After all He has equipped us with the ability to do so. However, as His children, He also expects us to submit those plans to Him because He not only knows the ending of our plans but the direction of our lives.
This was the mistake I was making. I was planning out my year thinking that I was submitting it under Him. But in reality, I was penning my own plans. Then I had the audacity to take it upon MYSELF to work out these plans (as if I have the power divert God’s sovereign plan). Sadly, I had been doing this for years without even knowing it (oh the sin of ignorance)!
You would think that my unnatural and debilitating reaction of disappointment to every single failure (big or small) would be a “red flag”, but honestly, I didn’t see it. I had become so blinded to building myself up around “accomplishments” that I lost sight of the actual person who allows and disallows those “accomplishments”. I was so stuck in following the plans and desires of my own heart to see that my very own heart was deceiving me. The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? (Jeremiah 17:9)
To my shame, God showed me that the end of my plans was not to glorify Him, but rather it was for my own self-glorification.
…shamefully I bowed my heart and repented.
For 2021, I’ve made my plans. Made my vision board. Listed what I wanted out of 2021.
But do you know what else I did?
I completely submitted all my plans to God. I want my plans to glorify ONLY HIM. I no longer want to follow after my own self desires. I want my will to be ONE with His will. I want to live a life that portrays a life that in every big or small turn of my life – God is directing my steps.
I want to authentically say and live, “Lord, here are my plans, but ‘Not my will, but Your will be done’ (Luke 22:44) and ‘If the Lord will, we shall live and do this or that’ (James 4:14,15).